So...Michael Jackson died last week. I don’t quite understand why people are so shocked.   It was really just a matter of time. In fact, I am surprised that he lasted as long as he did. He was so tortured inside that there was no other possible outcome. He was completely disconnected from himself in every aspect of his life; so much so that he lost sight of who he was. Certainly, a look in the mirror only served as a reminder of how far he had journeyed from the guy he was on the inside. Did the road he travelled lead to a successful life or was it ultimately the pathway to his death?

Over the weekend I caught glimpes of his story on TV.  I wanted to hear something new, something I hadn't heard before. I flipped from channel to channel until I finally settled on an interview with Stacy Brown, the author of a Michael Jackson biography entitled “The Man Behind the Mask”. He made a connection between Michael Jackson and Jesus, saying that Michael Jackson’s mark on the world could have left as much of an impact as that left by Jesus. Stacy Brown suggested that Michael Jackson could have really helped people make positive transformations in their lives… if only that was the choice he would have made. According to Brown, Michael Jackson was in the position to really have an enormous effect on the people he touched; far beyond just the music he produced. He had the power to help people recover from drug addiction, alcohol abuse, and other destructive behaviour. He had the ability to truly help kids in need, rather than create suspicion about his own intentions where kids were concerned.

He had the attention of millions and he blew it away. 

He was too focused on what other people thought of him, on how he looked, on trying to be perfect in the eyes of the public, and managing his image to really pay attention to the needs of others. The harder he worked on looking big on the outside, the smaller he got inside. He wasn’t all that different from many people I work with in private coaching. They spend so much energy worrying about other people’s opinions that they can hardly access their own. They lose sight of who they are and what is really important to them. I see this all the time through the Frame of Mind Coaching process. It’s really quite an ordinary problem. As extraordinary as he was, Michael Jackson was truly just an ordinary man grappling with ordinary issues. He just never saw himself that way. 

Even though most of us are not as famous as Michael Jackson, we all have the potential to have a positive effect on others. All we have to do is make the choice to do just that and focus on it. After all, what you focus on grows!

Author:  Kim Ades